Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Dear God,

I do believe I have stumbled upon my next step.

I am enamored and daydreaming about this program in connection with this one, and officially have reason to believe that London is calling. I think, for now anyway, New York may have run its course in my little adventurous life. Is it serendipitous that I've already booked a ticket and plan to visit this very city where the university resides, before having even an inkling that such a program existed for me???? Or that I have not published my own works just yet because it simply has not been the time. Or that I've been wanting to move abroad for quite some time now (read: all of my life), and perhaps, on all fronts, professional and personal, the time has come?


All things Children's Literature.
could very well lead to ------> internationally renowned author,
Dr. MK Perkins.

it's just a daydream, at the moment.

Perhaps, more.

I mean,
once the application is sent, it will be a plan of action.
Now, won't it.
(that's how my journey to Sarah Lawrence began!)


so, Dear Lord, I am trusting you to lead the way.
In your name,

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

and i love him

esther phillips by way of the beatles.

and the even lovelier studio version:

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

With sympathy, a country mourns

Not just the passing of a public figure, but merely a wife who has become an icon for what every wife (or spouse) desires from the person they married:

"I am imperfect in a million ways, but I always thought I was the kind of woman, the kind of wife to whom a husband would be faithful. I had asked for fidelity, begged for it, really, when we married. Leave me, if you must, but be faithful to me if you are with me." -- Elizabeth Edwards

Her trials have been manifold, having mourned the loss of her 16 year old son. Devastation, untold. Fighting multiple cancers while supporting a husband who decided to put his best interest as an individual forward above hers/theirs. Her story is not singular; for me, it puts a very universal stamp on the realities of life and marriage. The realities we've seen countless times and will continue to. Sometimes you don't get the upper hand of being taken advantage of. She didn't get to divorce her cheating husband and go on to find love with a man who would honor her (as far as we know).... but maybe that doesn't matter. She went on to have two more children after her son died, and while not replacing his presence, I'm sure they added joy unspeakable for the past twelve years. Her husband wronged her in the most despicable of ways, but perhaps, as friends and confidantes, her breaths getting shorter in recent weeks and days, it's not unreasonable to consider that maybe they made peace with the life they've shared together and the wrong that has taken place between the two of them. Her husband rationalized his decisions which affected his behavior (maybe) because of/(certainly) despite his wife's terminal illness, and must spend his remaining days carrying that load along his journey. I'd like to HOPE that the recent past few weeks or months allowed for them to gain closure and even, maybe, re-kindle a feeling of togetherness (in ways that the public will never know) before she passed from this life. She also had to rationalize and evaluate her involvement with him, and perhaps, even with planning to carry out a divorce from her husband, still was able to ultimately honor him and their marriage by passing away a month before the divorce was to be granted. Til Death, did they part. Not without pain, but a full life lived. Unconditional, it seems from my bird's eye view peeping in (as I know very little about the Edwards beyond headline news).

Though.... Having endured it all, I surely hope she's resting in the Lord's peace now.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

in the middle of my thirtyfirst year,

and at the end of this two thousandth and tenth year a.d.,

i can say with much accuracy and conviction that

(though i truly enjoy the company of a companion i adore
and who tickles me from the inside out

and though the attraction of and to certain people make life worth living,

and though i fully and completely believe in the kind of precious unconditional
love that i see others existing in,

and though-perhaps-
there really happens to be some guy out there
who prefers-yearns, even-
to find out all there is to know about the bizarre bird that is me
and who is compelled to avail himself to
build some kind of existence together)

i am,
the furthest away from
a committed significant other*
(or desiring to have offspring of my own
with said unwanted s.o.)
than i've ever been in my adult life.


who knows.
but. it is what it is.

que seh-ra, seh-ra.

*or the idea of a significant other