Monday, October 11, 2010

i really feel good about

pulling off my brother's 40th birthday in a way that will be a happy memory for him. And without my even knowing it, the party ended up being a wonderful celebration for one of his boy's who turned 40 this year as well, a day or two before him. I had no idea this dude spent his birthday by himself in a very low key way. I'm not sure if it was because of choice or circumstance, but I looked at his facebook page today and realized that he told someone that his boy's sister threw "them" a birthday party and he had such a good time... It made me smile, because you never really know what you are doing for other people that ends up being significant to them. I may have my moments when I'm consumed with whatever I'm feeling in that moment, but I'm thankful to be able to look past myself and look at the bigger picture. It's dawned on me that two people I consider friends are so self consumed and wrapped up in themselves that, it's really becoming hard to engage them on a regular basis. One, I hadn't talked to him in about a month as we've both been busy. He called me a few weeks ago and I missed the call, and today I decided to go on and hit him back. He talked about himself and what he's doing the entire 7 minute conversation. Yet, in between he'd ask me what was going on, how was I doing, what guy I'm spending my time with now... But before I could really even answer any of those question with any substance, within the beat, he was talking about himself again. It was painful to listen to because he doesn't even realize it. So, I decided it wasn't even worth it to try to tell him anything, I told him that I was glad things were well, and that I'd hoped to see him soon. The other person, I'm learning that she processes information so differently than I do, and many other people. I don't even feel like going into details, but the I have a feeling our friendship as it is may be turning a corner that leads to a bit of a separation or break, even. Which is funny, cause we all know that I'm not the person who knows how to make a clean break from people. So, maybe that's not what's coming.... But, it's just interesting watching life unfold right now.

This was a happy post though, when I began, so I'll bring it full circle. It is really interesting watching life unfold right now, but I'm really excited and pleased at writing these new chapters with my brother. His life is good, and that is priceless.

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