Tuesday, January 12, 2010

11 months and 20 days...

I think I'm giving myself a one year deadline; if January oh-eleven comes around and I'm still feeling restless and unsettled and unsure about the prospects of most of the things I'd like to be more sure about now during January oh-ten, then I think it will be time to go on ahead and live abroad, somewhere like Paris, Tuscany, Brisbane, Panama or Accra (or all five, if I have it my way). This year, though, I'll just get in position to jump [high and far] if need be, ie renew my passport, take some language classes, get in a financial position to leave the states for a while, and uncover the actual opportunities that will pay be to be elsewhere for an extended period of time. Elsewhere can be good for development and growth. The world is bigger than Los Angeles, and is bigger than New York. And whereas I do not believe entirely that I've done ALL there is to do in New York City, and I could forsee leaving for a little while and then going back to The City as a seasoned and cultured world traveler, I do recognize that before you can talk about where you'll COME BACK to, you have to actually LEAVE.

If the war ever ends, maybe I'll join the Navy.... (chuckle) Yeah, right. Me, of all people, in the military, I DON'T THINK SO. But, getting TESOL certified and teaching English abroad may be my ticket. Or maybe there are some opps through the University. I don't know, but there's got to be more for me to see and exerience besides what I've seen and done in the Five Boroughs, with an insatiable jones for live music and uncommitted love interests.

As of now, January Twelfth oh-Ten, there is no specific draw keeping me in the states, no one person or job that feels my departure would be problematic. (Everything is very tentative, very take it-or-leave it. Even after five years. And maybe that's the way life is in general for most people -especially with the emergence of online social networks and mobile communication, it's almost like no one every really needs to be near any other person to have a connection- but I'm really old fashion and I'd really love to find myself in a position where someone or something is like: YOU are irreplaceable and we really need YOU to be here, things just are not the same when you are not around... but I digress.) One can publish, be an artist, and teach anywhere in the world. So.... maybe in order for me to really become the person I need to be it will be necessary for me to try my wings out once and for all and see how far I can go in this journey. Especially since, as Mommae (who I still can't believe is gone) called me, I am a free bird out here with no family of my own to look after. If that is still the case in oh-eleven, then I'll count it a blessing and carry my free self on somewhere else.

So. the countdown begins. 11 months and 20 days...

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