Monday, August 31, 2009

in the middle of a conversation on love

with a friend that i occasionally spend time with, he shared a simple truth* as seen from his perspective:

i'd rather deal with a lonely heart than a broken one.

*a truth as it pertains to having reached a certain age though a marital relationship has yet to unfold. the general conversation was surrounding the thought that neither one of us wants to deal with a divorce once finally married, and thus choosing to remain single as long as necessary until it is clear that you actually want a life time commitment with a particular individual. i didn't expect him to share that it's sometimes lonely on this single-and-dating side of a life long commitment, especially when it seems that your options are not as viable as you'd like (even if you do call yourself having options). i, myself, have guys to spend time with, but none have developed into committed relationships that are leading to matrimony, and the same can be said of my friend and the ladies he chooses to spend time with. yet, and even still, i'd prefer the lonely heart that desires a lifetime love than being broken-hearted over a failed marriage that i thought would last.


The Urban Aesthetic said...

Interesting sentiment. Having had both, I would want neither or I'd prefer the broken heart. Honestly, there is no difference between the two. And at least with the broken heart, I can remember lost love.

Mai~Goodness said...

I understand you perspective too, and can say that I've experienced both... What I did leave out, though I thought may have been implied (but actually is just LEFT OUT! lol) the conversation kinda ended at the resolve that a lonely heart is better than a broken heart IF said lonely heart eventually connects with the right person sometime down the line. And I really do prefer that. The first time my heart was truly broken a couple of years ago, I swear I never wanted to go through that again. And so, if it means sometimes being lonely until that right person (which I still do believe in) is ready for a lifelong commitment, then the lonely heart is certainly the lesser of two evils. Neither is preferred, but please leave my heart intact and keep it moving.

The Urban Aesthetic said...

I understand. I can agree. The last broken heart I had was not pretty. And by no means do I wish to recreate it. lol But, every memory isn't always a sad or bad one. Broken hearts can heal. Lonely hearts without the experience are not fun. I'd rather have the opportunity for heart break than not have the opportunity at all.