Saturday, April 25, 2009

on men rushing home to be with their lady...

so i went to see some friends play last night, and when the gig was over, i asked the trombonist if he was gonna be hangin' for a bit afterward. his response, "Man, PLEASE... I'm 'bout to go chill with MY GIRL!" and he stuck around shooting the breeze for a minute, but was really like "I gotta go see my lady, later for y'all!" ....then it was the same for the drummer; off he went after the gig, home to his wife and little girl. and these are cats my age, like between a year younger/older than me at 30....

it really made feel good to see young cats eager to share their free time with the women they love. i find myself in these casual kinda situations where i spend good times with cool brothers when they're around, but they can often not be around just the same. and those accumulated experiences have not resulted in any default "we spend friday evenings/saturday afternoons/sunday brunches" together, or even the "i'm off work so let me call my girl and see what she's doing" type of connection on a regular basis. the casual dating thing sux when you're desirous of a longstanding evolving relationship with one person. but i do it cause perhaps it's better to spend SOME time with a cool guy that you dig than to spend no time with someone and wish you could. i'm just wondering when "some time" turns into "most often", and it not be on some FRIENDSHIP type vibe (cause I've had it before, but it turns out, it wasn't a LOVE thing, it was merely companionship at it's best).

Meanwhile, a friend, a guy friend, someone i've known since my first day at Howard, just said to me in a chat convo:

God knows what he's doing. You might force a situaton and then regret it like hell. I do understand that its natural though how you want to feel sincerely desired and "claimed" it feels good to have a loved one coo and make a big deal over you. Let God take control and enjoy the journey. You're are magical..I love my Maisha!!!!!!!

quite the pep-talk! and i love him for it. it's not anything that I DON'T know, but it's quite precious coming from someone, a guy who is not your father or brother, you know what I mean.

So, the mister who really wants to spend his time with me, on a consistant basis, remains to be seen. WELL, one who is actually in love with me. But I'm sure he'll come around :) It's only natural. and it's only a matter of time!

Saturday, April 18, 2009


khadi and antonio are getting married in a few hours, and i couldn't be more encouraged by the love and life they share with one another. their lovechild rita will be here in a few weeks too, and i can't wait to help welcome her into the world. i ended up spending the day with the both of them, first twisting and styling antonio's locks for the wedding, then spending the rest of the afternoon with khadi, her mom and aunt finding last minute must-haves for her wedding ceremony look. mainly shoes, she definitely needed the shoes... and the flowers, big beautiful white lillies! and i was there to help her pull it all together. i kinda felt like her standin maid-of-honor, especially since her own sister was stuck on the road with her family coming from maryland. but it was a joy and a privilege to help khadiboom pull it all together for her special day. they're getting married in central park at 10am and the reception is to be held at an ethiopian restaurant on the upper west side. they are so precious together, khadi and antonio. he is the first person i met when i moved to nyc, and she and i have hit it off since meeting about a yr or so ago. and they fit well, both have a sense of decency and integrity that is necessary in building a life with someone. i love how well they fit together. so i wish them the best life for what the two of them have chosen. it's come together quite lovely as of now. with the baby on the way and their life as a family official, what more could they ask for at this point, other than to be able to take care of their family as a unit in the best possible, loving way. and so, that is my prayer for the taylordangerfields on this day.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


(this is where i wanted to write some extremely meaningful post about turning 30 today, but i don't have it in me right now to write it.... maybe one day i'll replace this for what i really want to say.)

Friday, April 03, 2009

change is in the air, babylove. (a happy blues)

and i'll take it!
change is in the air, babylove.
and i'll take it...

a'change is a'coming.
it ain't got no choice but to make it's way.
said, a'change is a'coming, be here in a few days.

i breathe it in
smooth it into my skin
said i breathe it in
smoothin' it into my skin.

i choose love. i choose happiness. i choose love. i choose life.
i choose love. i choose happiness. i choose love. i choose life.

i'll lick the sweet off the bittersweet, and leave the bitters for a drink on another day
i'll smile at the gray clouds and know the sun's not too far away.

said change is in the air, babylove,
and i can't wait to see
change is in the air,
baby, love, change for me.