Monday, December 08, 2008




from last week, to this.

i think being consumed with the energy of creative endeavors over the past week has helped to divert my heart's attention from the aforementioned unmentionable (so cheezy, i know). so that is progress. diverted attention is progress. although, technically, it's not really diverted attention if you're still sensitively keen to the fact that it really does suck (even if you don't go around all day telling people). so i guess that makes it comparative progress, whereas true progress will unfold when/if i ever truly FEEL that it DOES NOT SUCK, and that things are as they are for the best (i'm not yet convinced i will ever come to this resolution). whenever i stop thinking about that part of the magic that has gone away from my immediate reality (cause i miss that magical chemistry it seems we shared so much) perhaps for good, then i guess i really will be

feeling better.

(i really wish i didn't care.)

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