i got a call from the little sister of my bestfriend from junior high and high school, telling me that Cheryl passed this morning.
Maisha this is DeeDee
Shayshay lil sister????
Yes. I'm not calling with good news. Shayshay..........passed away,
please tell me you're mistaken.....
(why she would be calling me with a mistake like this? I don't know
but it had to be.)
everything else she said is inconsequential.
i listened in horror as Deedee got through the teary details.
then i called my mom, wailing in tears, grief taken over...
cause i just don't understand
how Shay, my dear Shay, MY SHAY....
the Shay who i always make a point to run and go see at the restaurant
even if i'm in town for only 24 hours
who i make a point to call every few months, even when she doesn't call me back
afterall, she's the busy one! She's married and running a family restaurant.
I didn't call this time.
I saw her three or four weeks ago
when she was 9 months pregnant
with her first child, a boy
and i hugged her tight and sang to her belly
and we laughed our usual laugh for about 15mins
and hugged and we knew we'd speak after the baby was born.
I couldn't remember her due date,
but i knew since it's now late september
he must've come.
Every night I'd think
I've got to call Shay, but it's too late to call..
I'll let her get her bearings with the baby, I'll call her later.
I didn't call because it was too late to call...
it's too late to call.
As much as I stay on top of remaining in contact with people
I never thought I'd be writing that I waited too late to call someone.
Shay I love you so much, for loving me for a lifetime.
I know you're with the Lord now.
But that doesn't make this any better for us left here right now.
(p.s. i wanted to call your cell phone just now. just to see if....i could hear your voice, one last time, maybe the outgoing message or something would give me your voice. but i didn't know if that would be in poor taste or make me look extra crazy. so once again....for the last time, i did not call.)
I can't even imagine
what her mother
must be going
Not only is this the second child to pass away by age 30,
but she buried her husband two years ago.
I just don't understand.