mrs. wells... i wanted to speak with her but have been taking my time/avoiding it because i still haven't wanted to accept what i had to call her for. but too much time was passing, so i just called. she answered with a laugh from whomever she was there talking to, and i heard her melodious voice, "helllllooo" and the tears started streaming down my cheeks, but i just took a deep breath and said, "hi mrs. wells, this is maisha...." as the silent tears kept flowing. i apologized for taking so long to call her because it was too hard right now. she said she knew. that shay and i were like sisters. and that if it were the other way, if i had gone and shayshay was here it would be the exact same thing. "Shay loved to cry, you know..." I could tell she was smiling when she said this. she didn't tell me to stop crying. she told me that even two years after her father's passing, she might look over at shay riding in the car and see her tear-stained face because she missed her father so much. Or that in church she'd tearfully sing one of his favorite songs. (she was that heartbroken; and now they are together, i suppose.) she encouraged me to be thankful for the day i came to see shayshay about a month ago, even if it was for twenty minutes (note: i really could've and should've stayed longer), because it was such a happy last time together. she told me that Cheryl and I really were sisters, and i said i know because we'd been together for 17 years. she said that she will be holding on to all the time they spent together and I should do the same. shay was her bestfriend. they never left one another's sides. they lived around the corner from one another (shay with her husband in the house she grew up in, the house i spent so much time in, her mom in a lovely house within walking distance) and cooked in the same kitchen of their family restaurant. i told her, though i'm very close with parents, i've always admired the closeness they shared, and Cheryl's desire to stay there with her and not move away, not knowing that her time would be so short.
((((real time thought: WHY am i writing this? this should not be reality.))))
we only spoke for a few minutes and she encouraged me to pray for her because she would continue to pray for me because the Bible says that we should pray for one another. she said that she really has appreciated my mom's support in coming to see her and her how her knowledge of Scripture has really encouraged her to be stronger. (both mrs. wells and my mom be preaching.) she ended by telling me she loved me, and i do love her so much. and now. i have to hold it together. until i am there. then i don't know what will happen.
i don't know that i'll eventually be okay with this. but i do know that time moves on.