Monday, August 11, 2008

this is not FLY!

I woke up to a nightmare this AM. Attack of the brooklyn flies! and a HORRIBLE smell! I thought sure it must be a dead animal in the backyard, why else would there all of a sudden be cause for fifteen flies large and small circumventing the kitchen and apartment like they own the place! Are you SERIOUS!?! Just RUDE! Rude awakening. So I tried to figure out the cause of the smell and the infestation but it didn't make sense other than something was dead. I thought maybe it could be a dead mouse and I called my dad as I was leaving, but as we talked we concluded that dead mice don't necessarily cause flies to come around, like if a dog dies or something! Like, seriously. So we ruled that out. He mentioned that I could use a vacuum cleaner to just pull them out of the air, but I don't have the need or luxury of a vacuum cleaner, so that clever idea was out. Next he mentioned that I could spray them with either raid or hair spray, the first of which would poison them, the latter of which would weigh their wings down so they couldn't fly. He said he's used hair spray in the past when he didn't feel like smelling the raid. As I was out I figured that I have both and either would do to kill those nasty, intruding muthasuckas. So when I returned it was all I could do to keep my crazy from getting the best of me (insect buzzing in close quarters puts me over the edge) and going after those filthy buzzers in full force. And wouldn't you know one after one started dropping out of the air and buzzing all over the floor fighting for whatever last bit of life they had in 'em. I mean it wasn't as easy as point, shoot and they drop dead. Nope, it was pure looney on my part and audaciousness to allude the raid on theirs. SHEESH. The mere buzzing has gotten to me so much that I've taken my phone OFF of the default vibrate mode that I keep it on ever since I've gotten the phone.

Now, hours later, there are fly carcases around my apartment that I have to get up. YUCK. And.. AND there's still at least one or two stupid flies still buzzing around my apartment. Like, dude, are you serious.... GET OUT! This is the worst.

Meanwhile, I went next door in my neighbor's backyard to see what I could figure out about this dead animal causing this fly debacle. It smelled nice and clear in his own backyard, so he jumped over into mine to continue scoping the area. Once in my backyard, he still didn't smell anything, and after surveying the area, found no evidence of a dead animal. WHAT! NO DEAD ANIMAL??? Then what the hell is that smell???? And WHY are all those flies in my apartment??? They certainly weren't there buzzing around 2:30 this morning when I went to sleep. Just all of a sudden when I woke up. What????? And now my neighbor was telling me that there was, in fact, no animal carcass lying around. This was too much. So apparently there is a dead mouse or something... somewhere in my kitchen :( IN MY KITCHEN! And I don't know where. It's enough I gotta find and clean up like 15 dead flies, but where ever the source of that rancid small is.. finding it is just too much to deal with right now.

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