Tuesday, May 27, 2008

should you feel like a fool

for believing that you're in love with someone after knowing them for only six weeks? i keep saying "only" because to me it is the qualifier that indicates that i KNOW six weeks is not a long time in the grand scheme of things (but it's long enough to know how you feel). it also indicates that i know there's a world of things i still don't know about this cat. and i know that it possibly may not last OR possibly not be "love" at all. because it's "only been six weeks".

but the thing is: i don't feel foolish. i welcome the feeling. because what if IT really is what i think it is? what if he really does feel the same? what if we really are becoming a "WE"? then, God bless the moment that two more people have realized that Love is a beautiful and necessary thing.

so there's been this whole question of "is love at first sight real?" that i keep asking. from conversations with my pops, i understand the phenomenon to be a very hollywood thing that is not the basis for a real love experience. and i was cool with believing that-- until April 15, 2008 when i came into the presence of someone i've come to deem quite special. since that day, i've found myself frequently joking, "IF i believed in love at first sight, then i definitely experienced it... and just HOURS before my birthday, what a gift!"

surely, i stand with my pops in believing that love is a choice someone makes to support that deeply amorous feeling with action (and eventually commitment). you love someone by how you treat them, how you cherish and esteem them, how you take care of them, how you live for them, and ONLY them. which does take time to develop in a true way. matterfact, that grows over a lifetime. it develops. it continues. it's challenged. in a real way. but it's real. however, i'm starting to really believe that that "love at first sight" thing (or at least "love at first encounter") can also occur to inform you that THIS IS a person you can love (if you really choose to).

all this to say, i wouldn't be surprised if we were really in love. like india said a few years back, i'm ready for it. i welcome it. so. i'ma sit back and see what happens. but as long as it feels right, i will maintain that it felt right from the first moment we met.

(and like FURREAL, if -in fact- it starts to feel wrong, then you know what, at least i know my heart is back in proper working condition....)

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