Tuesday, May 20, 2008

OF COURSE there's a full moon...

my period will be starting soon. (sux)

makes sense.
(even though it's not a blue moon)
been kinda blue-ish this week
for the following reasons:

the boy i like (who likes me too)
calls me "his baby" and "his girl"
but doesn't exaclty mean his girlfriend.....(?)
(which i guess makes sense
since we've only been seeing one another for about 5 weeks-
we met four hours before my birthday; what a gift!)
i like him so. and think he'll be my O-fficial boo :)
in time. (ie talk more, kiss more, walk more, kiss more!
let him show me how he really feels
in another month, no?)
meanwhile it's not the first time
i've liked a dude (who liked me back)
but he wasn't tryin to make me his girl.
the catch is, he didn't SAY he's not tryin to make me his girl
(it's only been five weeks!)
so i'm just gonna fall back on this whole topic
for now
and see what happens.
you can't let your past determine your future.
(but i will not spend the next few seasons into '09
developing amorous feelings and daydreaming expectations
only to have the whole thing dissolve into a depressive reality
cause the he in my "we" ain't really tryin to be a We....)
in any regard, he's sweet and that's welcomed.

and also
my client is&has been unavailable.
today he said our project is on his list of priorities.
but the reality is that it must be way down on that list
because he's been MIA for a while now.
the blessing is that once we finally resume our project
there's a few lump sums of johnnyCASH that will be available to me.

and subsequently
i am&have been looking for a job similar to the one i left.
this is depressing (because i left the job for reasons
completely justifiable to me).
but i'm twenny9 now.
and i guess that means accepting the kind of job i dont want
for the sake of taking care of myself and self-bills.
(here's where i pretend that i think it's above me to
conveniently marry wealthy,
push out a coupla babies and not have to worry about
finances and other adult stuff- like affording
primary care physicians, dentists and groceries....
you can marry wealthy AND "for love"... can't you???)
in any case,
i'm not getting married (any time soon-
for love, convenience or for wealth.)

in other news
i just ate a half-pint of butter-PEEcan
(although i've been tryin to stay away from excess amounts sugar.
but it was sooooooooooooooooo freakin tasty.
thankfully i didn't get the pint.)
that's what happens when
pms enters the building
(that and flatulency-
or maybe that was the
blackbeans&rice! :)
the 2008 Gas-X/Job Interview commercial
is all the rage!!!!!)

anyway, this blue shall pass....

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