[i know that] growing pains are inevitable. necessary even. to filling out the dimensions of ones existence. remedying those pains have been the hardest thing i've had to figure out this year. spent more silent moments in the past eleven months than (i guess) i anticipated. i do talk to God a lot. try not to question. make a point to give thanx and praise. question. petition for the welfare of others. read. listen. learn how to not anticipate, but be. silence is daunting sometimes, so i find a song to bask in. talk to God some more until i sleep. sleep. sleep. wake up and wonder (because things are just weird right now. so i wonder.) and in the middle of it all, i live and laugh and love. work. but it's still all very weird at the moment.
i want to do a better job at this next year. this getting over, getting through, reaching higher ground, BEing. naturally you only really have each day you're in, so i guess i want to do better today. and maybe i am. in documenting my growing pains, i can look back and be thankful that i am no longer there. i will.... or perhaps no longer look back at all.
(oh well... time to get ready for church...)