Thursday, August 30, 2007


For the vision
is yet
for the appointed time;
It hastens toward the goal
and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;

it will
certainly come,

it will not delay.


Wednesday, August 29, 2007

doesn't this just sound like me!

formerly comparative musicology, is cultural musicology or the study of music in its cultural context. Formed from the Greek words ethnos (nation) and mousike anthropology or ethnography of music. Jeff Todd Titon has called it the study of "people making music".

i mean, thats what i do NOW... i run around new york city studying the musicians i love. i analyze how they play. what was different this time from the last time. what is his signature bass line? at what point is he going to go into his chicago style or new orleans style of playing on keys? if he's studied in ghana and he's studied in turkey, but they're both drummers affected by the style of max roach, then how will their own individual styles be similar or differ... what makes them GO IN (into the zone/ the pocket) like that? why is kompa, zook, and morna so infectious? when can i travel the world and find out what else is musically out there????



well... we'll see what happens...
(there's just soooooooo much to do with one's life!)


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

as the words came...

your K
for cwj

she wasn’t mine
but i hold her as dear
as if she were

didn’t grieve her then
but miss her now
with you

will never know her laugh, her grin
but celebrate her
in my own

i grab your nose, and love it
for her,
though it brings me joy

the marvel you found in her
is the delight she found
in having you

to struggle her loss
is to champion her being
having been

been here
been here with you
been here with you just as you are,
just as you are. because of her.

you are, because she was.
she is, because you are.
for her.

Monday, August 27, 2007

so in writing the vision and making it plain....

i'm planning on having Ella Phantz-Gerald: The Jazz Singing Elephant illustrated and published, then having a narrated/live jazz version of it recorded with a name-artist to correspond with the book release, then (or concurrently) have an animation version of it produced as a feature length film, then have a staged musical version of it produced on Broadway, then have other versions of the staged musical produced in different countries for many years to come (like Tevye in "Fiddler on the Roof" which made it's debut in 1964 and is still touring the world and warming hearts in packed houses)....

THEN have a sequel/spinoff based off of Langston Blues's backstory...and start the whole process all over again!

THHEEENN have a 30 min cartoon series based on the adventures of Ella and Langston....

THHHEENNN pay off all my educational debt and buy that $million.7 brownstone across the street from me on Stuyvesant Avenue and post up! then buy my parents another house and my brother and niece a condo somewhere really nice :)

THHHEEEENNNN invest the rest so it turns into some REAL money.

and then really start doing what i want to do.
(which is live somewhere inside the music.)


something about you..

...made me smile today.

ps L-O-V-Ed Grandma's Boy--
hence the
"ice cream sandwich on whole wheat&lettuce"
(can never go wrong with a
happymadison production)

2K7 is here for you.
but you'll make it.

post postscript:
i'm stuck in an office building most days
during which i walk about with a

Sunny Bridges
-type-of gait
to keep myself amused...
(i wonder if i'm the only one
in the office who thinks i'm a cartoon?)

(((neo-soul these)))

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Dear Lord...

is THIS how miracles unfold???

(cause things are getting real interesting
and it's gotta be because of You...)

(meanwhile, thank you.)



Wednesday, August 22, 2007

And i may change my mind but...

i think
i may have decided
yesterday afternoon
that i will be venturing into
doctoral study
by the fall of '08.

(the second decision
i've made this month
that i did not anticipate making..)

(..and i really may change my mind--

but at least i have it documented here
that i'm actively considering this path.)

and as DAUNTING as
obtaining a DOCTORATE seems
at this point
(and probably for the duration of the journey)

i am quite comfortable
with this decision.

(ethnomusicology: to be exact)

i need to go study.


Monday, August 20, 2007


he said, ...see you later, mai.

i took it to mean: goodbye.

i think i'm the one who really said

i've never said it before. don't know if i really meant it.

but i was lookin at
Diary of a MadBlackWoman
last night on TBS
(first time ever seeing it, or any tylerperry movie for that matter)
and there's a scene where shamar moore's character, Orlando says:

you don't get it, do you?
you can't just
with the person you love.

anyway, at some point
i've got to stop relating
i see in movies
to my own life/self/existence.


i think for right now
i'll just wrap up in these wings of mine to keep warm
maybe hibernate through autumn, winter
and know that i'll take flight when the time is right.


Sunday, August 19, 2007

the art of self-sufficiency...

when you can no longer call on
the one you'd normally call
to come and help you

you just figure out
what that person might have done
and fix the situation

so i broke my computer power cord adapter off into the power socket the other day... my laptop had slipped of my bed onto the floor (dont ask me how) right onto the side where the power cord goes in. when i picked it up and fidgeted around, the cord was basically severed and the piece was still in the socket. so now, i officially had 97% battery time left, but i knew it'd be draining fast so i turned it off and considered my options (none of which included calling a certain *someone for help). so i sat down at my desktop and thought, well what would he do anyway? which led me to look up the #s on the back of the severed adapter and see what i could see. taking the random series of #s i went to Google and entered them with my computer model, and wouldn't you know, i found myself right in his territoty: Ebay, with a couple of the adapters I needed being auctioned off...

fast fwd a day or so later, i needed to actually win the bid on my coveted adapter before i could do anything else... long story short, i again thought, what was it he said about bidding on here (cause i'm totally NOT the Ebay aficionado that i know him to be).. wait to the last minute and bid in the last few seconds... and wouldn't you know, i actually got the best low bid in at the very last second! i mean i cut it so close to the wire that i thought the auction had timed out before i got my price in, but nope! in came the email that i'd won the adapter!!!

the next step was to figure out where or who could get this piece out of my laptop so that when the adapter arrived I could plug it up and start charging again... I took it to BestBuy they said it'd be $85 just to LOOK at it (that was out!) I called a couple of other mom'n'pop computer places, they never called me back. I took it to the IT dept at my job, he didn't have a feasible solution... meanwhile, the adapter arrived within days and i spent the rest of the week just thinking about how i was gonna get the rest of the problem rectified.

so by friday night, i was like this is enough, i'm just gonna get the piece out myself... he's always fixing things, so i can figure out how to fix THIS... thinking, if i'm gonna have to spend $85 for BestBuy to look at it, i might as well give 'em sumn to work with (in the event i just made the situation worse!)

SO i grabbed a sharp seam-ripper, some long needles, and a couple of knives and started praying as i picked at the piece until it started to come unwedged out of the socket.. now it was NOT easy by any stretch of the imagination. i had to use nimble fingers to gingerly ease it out, and a couple of times i'd even made progress only to push it back down in there! broke the seam-ripper! got all kind of scratches around the powercord area of my computer.. but guess what....

I GOT IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

so now as i candidly recount my experience (using my charging laptop)

i'm thankful for
observation and growth and learning how to
figure things out on my own,
in my own time...

now if i could just figure out how to deal with bugs...... YIKES :(
that, my dear friends, may take more than prayer (try therapy!)

*ps ...if you're reading this wondering how i've been, know that i'm doing well. silly-o-edamame eatin'-fraser watchin'-me. don't get as many text messages as i used to, but my verizon bill is probably thankful for that :) anyway....... ur in my thoughts (sometimes), and still positively affecting me in countless ways. so thank you. hope you're well.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

if you think losing your phone is bad, try losing your daughter.....

message to nytano:

You know when i saw you in the train station earlier today I just happened to be helping this lady find her daughter she'd just lost! it was crazy cause i work at wfc and happened to walk down to wall and broadway for no apparent reason cause i never take the train down there right. and i was like dag, i gotta ride one stop up to fulton so that i could catch the A back to brooklyn. And the train i got on happened to be where this lady was like "i lost my daughter, we got separated at fulton...." so a couple of people were like "oh hope you find her, just go to the other side..." but she was saying its her second day in nyc and everything.. so i showed her the other side but she was getting all distressed so i had her talk to the mta worker who told her to go to the other side as well, and then i went down to the A so i could come home.. so then I see her down by the A looking for her daughter almost in tears walkin fast calling out to her, so i was like "Miss, let me take you back to the 4 train where you got separated.. i'll stay with you til you find her..." so she was all in tears and didn't know where to look, so i told her to try and call the daughter on her cell phone to see if she'd answer. the daughter answered and said she was sittin on a bench in the subway.. THAT'S when i passed by you, we were going down the platform looking to see where she was sitting... and she ended up dropping a bottle of wine she had bought earlier and was carrying in her bag on the platform and everything, but her daughter was down at the end, on the bench... CHILLIN!

hahaa.... so anyway, i made sure they got back to bk where they were staying, and it felt good be in in the right place at the right time...

so how was your day??? :D hahahahaaa



nytano's message back:

Yo, that is the craziest story. I had a feelng something was going on, that's why I let u slide with the quick honestly i thought she was crying over the spilled wine.. I thinking "damn" over the wine? But ok, crying over the kid makes sense. I had no idea u were a part time superhero, good stuff though.. u give hope to humanity, lol.

God really is lookin out for me when I ain't even lookin out for myself...!

so i lost my phone last night. AGAIN. at the Anita Baker concert (that changed my life, but that's another story)! i was on cloud nine, genuinely happy, wanting nothing. in my element and moved to tears in the thick of it all from beginning to end, three'hunnid'65 days of the yeeaarr, and when i got to the car, my phone was gone...

and i almost panicked.
but instead i started

Lord i need that phone back. period.
Please Lord, gotta get the phone back.
i don't know how i lost it, but i know you can find it.
period. show me where it is, and thank you.

and i was sittin in the car with June April
like, i gotta go back to Wingate field to look for it.
and she said, aiight we'll go but let me call it first just to make sure it's not in your bag.
she calls the phone, my phone doesn't buzz in my bag, i jump out the car like
gotta go find it, Lord. period.

so i'm halfway down the block when June calls after me like
WAIT UP! someone found your phone,
he called back i'm talkin to him now!
Officer Holland, he said he's by the stage now!


so we're walkin walkin walkin fast tryin to find Officer Holland
asking mad other officers if they know him, they're like Uhhh no...
So June calls my phone again and I see him answer, so I run up to him like
HERE I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!! and June runs up and gives him a big bear hug,
which i follow suit, and we have him totally embraced in a big thankful hug!!!!

Officer Holland said,
Yeah i was walking through the grass picking up trash
and i stopped right in front of your phone
when it started to buzz and light up!
So I picked it up and answered!

God is good!
I have my phone!
and Anita Baker changed my life!!!


Friday, August 10, 2007

my 100th posting brings yet another change in season.

i was going to say the
same thing.....

he said,

...goodbye, mai.


Sunday, August 05, 2007

Today's spectrum of emotion.

the HIGH:

spending hours in the atlantic
riding waves like only a champion mermaid would
(save for a few boogie board wipe outs... but my body surf game
was NICE!)

flying dj uncle mikes huge psychedelic kite
(i'm talkin close to 1000 ft high!)

getting a free ride back to the city
then coming off the train to a dj playing
disco classic,
It's A Love Thang
(in the park across the street from my house
at 8'o'clock at night!
of course i dropped my stuff and
got my funky two step on!!!)

(those are some great HIGHS
wouldn't you agree
Ladies & Gentlemen!)


the LOW:

getting dolled up
(when i didn't really want to
cause i was drained from the day)
to meet a friend that
(@ least not by 1:15am
when i finally bounced.)

(sidebar: there are certain things that i don't wear that often
with the reasoning that i'd maybe like to wear them out
on a date with a nice guy.
but since i don't get asked out on dates by nice guys
-well rarely anyway-
i've started wearing them just when i go out period,
you know, things that i think
are particularly smashing.
tonight was one of those night.
thought it'd be nice to get DRESSED.
it was just waste of good energy.
the bouncer @ the establishment i went to
took the opportunity to point out that i,
in fact,
did not look as smashing as i thought,
but rather SKINNY
and suggested i not wear all black anymore.
so.... yeah)

the LOW #2

being reminded while listening to one of my favorite Wham! songs
I Think You're Amazing
that the person i think is amazing
very well may not think that i am just as amazing.
(and if so, isn't always willing to let me know
so whats the point,
i still feel crappy about it.)

i'm deliriously tired now and
am fading into a deep sleep shadowed by a high wave...