Wednesday, November 29, 2006

(gurl moment) i can dig it...

julia roberts was on oprah tonight talkin about raising her children and how much she really loves her husband... i've never heard someone express their love in this type of parallel:

I don't know who loves Danny [her husband] more, me or Phin [her baby son]... it's like he comes through the door [after being out all day] and we're BOTH just as excited to see him...! it really feels good to have someone else who understands just how much i love this man...

Monday, November 27, 2006

thank THE LORD HEAVENLY FATHER who knows how much i've needed this......(and mike aiken!) i got a raise.....

and the faint hint at a salary with benefits should things continue to work out favorably!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

thanxgiving two thousand six...

today was

(...... i'm really thinkin' about my words.....)

not really what i expected.

i think at this point in my life though i'm constantly be taught and retaught the lesson of expectation.that the higher your expectation is of people or of a situation, the higher the chances that your expectation will not be met. not saying that i'm learning NOT TO have expectations. and not that my comment is a reflection on company that i shared my holiday dinner with. but just that the excitement leading up to the Dinner led to anticipations that maybe i shouldn't have anticipated.

all in all today TURNED OUT to be a lovely time spent with my girls: juju, amy, tia and joy. all gurls after my own heart: silly sensibility. the five of us ate to our hearts content and laughed the way only girlfriends can, and Lord knows that always makes my heart full.

in thinking back, though, to what i expected--
some type of surrogate family experience with a house full of people, coming in early and leaving late... etc etc

i guess i wasn't realistic with myself. the truth is that the majority of people i know here are casual acquantainces at best, and not only that but i've become increasingly less social over the past year, which means whatever tight knit group of individuals i was expecting to see probably doesn't exist in my life right now. i had that "group" in l.a. even outside of my actual family members. but i tend to forget that that tight knit group was formed over a period of four years and that we had a common thread in that we all attended the same church. yeah, i don't have anything like that here (just yet), which isn't problematic, but moreso becoming more evident during times when i want to spend quality time with people i love, or at least like very much.

so i think this particular thanxgiving, my very first official HOSTING in my own "home", lacked a certain resonance that you get from having large groups of loved ones around. it was different, but if i've ever learned one thing it's that different is not bad, it's necessary even.

there were a few individuals that i would've loved to have seen come by, but for various reason couldn't or didn't make it. they were certainly missed but i look at it the way mommy put it, "whoever is supposed to be there will be there." selah.

i have to remember that adage that states "Rome wasn't built in a day...".. perhaps a reference out of context but i realize that this was just my first Thanxgiving Dinner, and that when/if/should i continue to host it in the future it will begin to take on a life and personality and a history of it's own. and that as i start to lay roots here, the bonds i make are sure to grow past casual into substantial frienships, with whom i'll continue to spend my holidays.

Friday, November 17, 2006

REACH OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

AWWWWWWWWWWW MAN!!! I was sooo not even knowing....

ok! SO, the song that the musical love of my life, RAPHAEL SAADIQ, opened his show with was the song REACH OUT by the FOUR TOPS.....

(now i've always known the song.... especially the I'LLLL BE THEREEEEEE part, but when i saw him and his background singers --THE MOIST TOWELETTES-- come out on stage singin' it for some foolish reason i thought it was The Tempations.... Thank God for being able to randomly stuble on The Four Tops MySpace page at like 4'oClock in the morning when i should be sleeping....)

Thursday, November 16, 2006

give thanx to walter mosley...

for introducing me to Madeleines last summer.


the backstory:

Last summer when i was working as program coordinator for Voices of Our Nation Summer Writer's Workshop, Walter Mosley was the residency instructor during the first week of workshops. So it was my job to pick him up from the hotel, get him over to campus, and then safely return him to the hotel. Well, on the way to the campus we were chattin it up and he asked me to stop at Starbucks to get a lil sumthin before class. Of course I happily obliged and shuttled him over to the nearby coffee shop. When he returned to the car he turned to me and said, "Here I brought you a package of Madeleines." Seeing as how I'd never thought to buy them before I was pretty excited to be getting complimentary sweets (classic mai!). When i bit into the first one i realized that i just WAS NOT READY for the soft barely vanilla-y pound cake type of GOODNESS each one of those little cakes possessed!!!!!

So I turned to him in delight like, "OMG! THESE ARE SOOO GOOD!!!! THANK YOU SOO MUCH!! From now on every time I have a Madeleine I will certainly think of you!"

Monday, November 13, 2006

i haven't even slept tonight...

i mustve slept too much this weekend, cause i haven't even batted an eye, let alone yawned, like i'm sleepy...

meanwhile, i've learned all kind of random stuff about random stuff like:

  • me and kimora lee simmons possibly being kin (her maiden name is perkins)
  • mos def allegedly having married a woman in toronto this yr although not yet divorced from his wife of 10yrs.... and allegedly having 5 children, two from his first wife of whom he's sposed to be paying $10,000 child support A MONTH (sheeeeshh)...
  • both everlast and ice cube have been muslim for years (who knew...)
  • the islamic faith believes in an afterlife heaven/paradise and hell, though one frame of thought believes that any who end up in hell will eventually end up in heaven due to God's compassion
  • there are cities in the US and Canada with high muslim population that serve halal chicken mc nuggets and halal popeyes chicken
  • today there will be a groundbreaking ceremony for Dr King's monument on the national mall (the only non president monument on the mall), and the remaining 37 million needed to ensure completion of the monument by 2008 may be provided by oprah winfrey and russel simmons
  • karl marx converted to christianity.. i think
  • a sri lankan human rights lawyer and his body guard was assasinated a few days ago
  • Kent State is the first university to offer a degree in Conflict Resolution as a result of the May 4th Massacre
  • a [male] NJ music teacher is facing 30 yrs in prison for sexually assaulting a former [male] student who now has AIDS


  • ED BRADLEY undeniably could've been/ should've been my favorite uncle.

i should go to sleep soon.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

if ever i produce a tribute album to curtis mayfield

it is a must that r.saadiq cover "We People Darker Than Blue" with Nate Jones on Bass, Gordon Campbell on Drums, Stacy Dillard on Sax.... and of course, me on Tambourine!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

this one is takin it back for my kinfolk....

i got this email yesterday from Traci recounting those universal truths of growing up with lots and lots of sisters and brother and cousins and friends..... and it brought all these memories of my own wonderful existance as a child:

  • ...4th of July with the WHOOOLLLEEE family at Cerritos Park
  • sleeping two (or three) to a bed at Mommae's house in the summer
  • riding in THE TRUCK (four in the front- probably me and Kevin in between Mommae and Daddy Albert-- and E'RYBODY ELSE in the back) on the way to Magic Mountain once a year,
  • being scared to go in the BACK back yard cause that's where RED --Mommae's Doberman Pinscher-- was!
  • What about Beauty (that blue dog) in the back too, i don't remember what kind of mut she was but she WAS BLUE!!
  • the there was that cat Calico and the one my brother named Too Cool that would sit on his shoulder (I PROMISE I'M NOT MAKIN THIS STUFF UP!!!!)....
  • the PLASTIC COVERED COUCH with that crocheted orange, green and yellow blanket, and those decorative yarn diamond things on Mommae's bedroom wall!!
  • Playin in Daddy Albert's RECLINING CHAIR!!!! (and his cane) HAAA!!!!
  • The O'G Baby Blue CROWN VICTORIA!!
  • the Price is Right, Press Your Luck and WWF WRESTLE MANIA (with the rubber Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant and Randy Macho Man Savage and all the other figurines... AND the wrestling ring in the living room)
  • not to mention G.L.O.W. GORGEOUS LADIES OF WRESTLING (remember when that one wrestlers bone came out of her arm on TV!!!)....
  • Daddy Albert eating slices of buttered bread toasted in the oven's broiler...
  • couting pennies to get like 60 penny candy's from the ice cream truck (side note: i still hear that SAME ice cream truck song from the trucks here in NYC and it brings me back every time, man!!!)
  • and... AND feelin grown cause you could WALK TO THE MOMMA STO'!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now THOSE were the days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok ps... who remembers when Mommae REALLLLYYY did not like us watching sitcoms cause it was tooooo much laughing???????


i've been having a very -circle of life- awareness today, and i mean in the most non-Lion King-kind of way... i'm feeling so overwhelmed with... i don't know what.. emotion? it's not a pms thing either, it's not a sadness, nor a sense of melancholy in as much as this sense of urgency. it seems so clear though i can't put my finger on it. i'm feeling very-life is short- at the moment, and consequently, feel the need to express how much i cherish the ones who are within my immediate circle of influence and who i have a large capacity of love and affection for. each day there are reminders of the fact that there's something so much bigger than our lil daily scopes of reasoning. And one lil documentary detailing how biblical prophecy seems to be coming to pass sooner than later puts things into a persceptive that time as we know it will come to an end. i mean, i know this, i knew this, i was raised with the belief (and subsequently derived of my own volition) that in Christ this world would pass away and that salvation would provide new life through Him. I know this. So, as i become more aware of things that are being played out in this country and on the world stage, i'm finding it more urgent to engage in life while it is good. And that is not commenting on how soon life (as we know it) will change or no longer be good, i just want to make sure that i am spending precious time accordingly.........

........there's so much more i thought i was going to type, but i'm not.

just know that i was thinking about you and that i love you.